31st August

Once again I awoken to find my mind shaken by its dreamtime displays of random noise. It’s amazing to think how much those things can and do affect us. Where do these random subversions of conscious thought come from? And why are they so powerful?

Many better people than me have written huge books on the subject, but its good to know people are thinking. It’s good to know also that despite the best efforts of scientists, there are some things which we will never understand!

Tuesday 26th – Leeds festival 08

Very early last Thursday I got up with all bags and tent and extras packed and went to Sheffield train station. We’re talking about 4.30 in the morning here. The sky was obsidian black, with waxy orange faded on its surface. The city felt deserted in darkness and though I was in the car with my mum, the place felt very quiet indeed. It wasn’t plain sailing we got lost a couple of times on the way and there seemed increasing physical pressure on my body caused by time. Today, there could be no missed connections.

At the station I just caught the train to derby, by a margin of less than 20 seconds.

Then I relaxed for 30 minutes as englands countryside slipped quietly by; even trains seem quiet in the early hours. As the journey carried on, the sky grew in brightness a good deal, as the sun prepared to crawl around to wake us up. For some it was already too late.

At derby I caught a train to Birmingham and from there I got a coach to leeds festival.

There is one word that must be used in any description of the Leeds Festival 2008. That word is mud. By the time I arrived midday on Thursday, the floor in most areas of the site was a giant mud bath. I had to wait for friends to arrive too, so had a little sleepy in the field.

After meeting friends and getting all our tents set up, things started to improve, dark moods started to lighten as various drugs, from cigarettes to alcohol, and perhaps beyond (no doubt somewhere in those fields someone did something!). On my own part it was mostly alcohol, but the remnants of the night are scattered along a trail of darkness.

The next day things started quite positively, with drinking and eating and such. Using the time honoured method of festival behaviour (that’s get drunk, go see bands, sober up a bit, then come home after the bands and drink more), the festival went pretty damn well. I took with me the most cheap camera I could find on eBay and found it to be a solid performer!

19th August

How much I could write about the past week! I was nervous of going and nervous most of the time I was there! This is to be expected because from Wednesday to Sunday I was with people I had never met or known before in my life (besides Del, obviously!). How strange it is to walk into someones life in that manner.

My feelings for her also suffered some small amount of bruising too, but not because of her doing. It seems one of her friends was utterly unappeasable on my part during my visit. Even Del was surprised at this hostility. For the most part though, I’m glad I went and saw some crazy things happen in Lincoln, met some awesome people and will remember the events for a very long time.

However before I even have time to think about that I must prepare for another unknown voyage as I pack my literal bags and head for Leeds tomorrow!!

12th August – All adventures

Here is where we look from. We look to what we want and pray for the day we have made the journey. Although to start the journey takes such great effort sometimes. We don’t look at the in-between place, we see the destination only, and trip over every obstacle along the way.

I go to Lincoln tomorrow, or what in twenty minutes will be today. I go to prove that I can love with more than a string of words. But with the mortar of actions which hold up the surfaces of a great construction. The construction which ironically… feels good to build, and a pain to destroy, for in all the many devices of man, Love is the one that works the proper way, no matter how much we feel we hate it… we wish for it, and no matter how much we have it, we want more.

But how this construction ages…. We will have to wait and see. For certain I feel I love that girl who inspired me to craft such words! But in 24 hours time…. will she share this thing with me still? I hope… very much hope …. That its so!

1st August

It’s a lovely Friday today. I had a pot noodle. I posted a parcel. I went shopping. I got mail! These are all the ingredients for a good day. Tomorrow I will have to get up on time, goto work… do it for eight hours, then come home. The contrast is pretty amazing!

That’s not to say I don’t like my job I do!