1st May – Sense and Time

Bring me the weekend. The weekend is the end. The weekend is the end my friend. Once again, a year is reaching its end. In a few days, year two will be in my past.

It is scary to think about how violently fast this year seems to have gone. The world is speeding up, or at least that’s how it seems. Back when I was a youngster, days seemed to last for ages. Maybe as I grew up, I lost my appreciation of time. Indeed, my sense of it. I don’t think I’ll ever get it back either.

My emotional habitat this year has been a bit strange; last years was strange too, but in a good way. As a cliché, it’s just a product of my environment, if I’m in a good place I’ll be happy, if I’m with good people I’ll be happy. But this year has been a more sobering journey, and next year I have the birthday of all birthdays coming up, my quarter century.

So I’m not pleased with what I’ve done and how I’ve felt at sometimes this year, sometimes. At other times I’ve felt great, mostly not good though. However I’m taking steps over this summer to get what seems like wishful thinking to become something tangible. The reasons, some of you may know, but I won’t write them here. We’re talking deeply personal stuff now, stuff that needs to be fixed. I’d sound narcissistic by mentioning it too.

As a final thought I’d like to reach out to people and say; stop thinking about stuff and start doing it. There are a couple of people out there I know that try and find meaning behind everything. What a waste of time! I’m not saying the pursuit of knowledge isn’t honourable or valuable, but some things can’t be understood, not fully. Like time for instance, we know it goes one way while we want it to go the other, it speeds up when things are good. Does it even exist?

These are questions without answers. No one can tell you if time is real or what it actually is. Generally I don’t analyse at all, which is why I’m such a shit character at times. When the conversation goes in a personal or delicate level, I tend to either mess it up, or not understand. I do analyse sometimes, but don’t see the point in thinking about everything. Like Slarty Bartfast, the character from Douglas Adams masterpiece…

SLARTIBARTFAST

I don't know, perhaps I'm old and tired,

but I always think that the chances of

finding out what's really going on are so

absurdly remote that the only thing to do

is say hang the sense of it and keep

yourself busy. I'd much rather be happy

than right any day.

ARTHUR

And are you?

SLARTIBARTFAST

No. That's where it all falls down of

course.

See you next year freinds, for what is sure to be an interesting and eventful new year.