10th June - Let me flee, bumblebee!

The last few days weather has been impressively summery; Bright blue skies, burning hot sun and fresh air. It could have been a Jane Austin novel, but it wasn’t it was real life. The highlight of yesterday was undoubtedly playing football in Bede park. It was so hot I was reduced to just my sexy green shorts. The sight of my bare white chest reflecting the suns rays (and absorbing quite a bit I’ll have you know) made many people reach for their sunglasses.

Today we pulled up 75% of the garden, which was weeds, some of them thorny types. It looks quite bald now, but it’s one less task to do before the big high-ho off-we-go in a few weeks, which really hasn’t been well organised on my own part. I had such great plans you see, but none came to be because for mysterious reasons I’m unemployable. God knows why, but out of about 50 job applications, 3 have gotten back to me. That’s a 16% success rate…. Bad times.

Later I watched bumble bees flying to and from the bees nest by my window, it’s amazing that they always seem to know just where to come back to, once they’re about two meters away they go straight for it. I wish I was such a creature, with a simple life to lead. Instead I have to worry about bills, job applications, organising the big move home preparing stuff to get a job when I’m there, sorting out next years student loan, worrying about paying rent, the ride just doesn’t stop!

Some of the people in the house have been moving great piles of their own stuff out over the last few days. Slowly the house is returning to its original empty self again, as a circle completed. Regarding tenancy, I previously wanted to move into university halls, but that was as much time, stress and now wasted effort as finding a job. It makes me wonder if I just have a cloud of bad karma following me round.

So I watch the bumble bee, wanting to be taken off into its little world, where it feels so alone, but works for the great cause. It’s quieter now, because the sun goes down, and I know the bumble bee doesn’t think about me. I wish it would spare me a thought, but it sits there wrapped in it’s own little world, dreaming, and having nothing to do with me.