Exempt

I found myself becoming jealous and angry. My own inability to be articulate and other’s abilities to be seemingly so. Not being able to understand peoples subconscious body language. An inability to read between the lines at emotional level, and worst of all, I knew I couldn’t blame it all on alcohol.

It all comes down to that big L word of course; a word whose very ambiguous definitions confuse and crumble better men than me. I scare from writing it down, because I want to not be so. I know to be in L is a good thing, till it comes crumbling down in some much more base confusion. It seems my general character prevents me from forming such relationships that have the potential to go further than reasonably well. Yes I have been in bad L and bare the scars on my soul, but those are mine to bear. Yes I have ended potentially good L in search of something better, my own confusion.

I can’t show such body and vocal language as to make the one I now or in future seek, understand. This could be hell but for the fact that I can at least, show that the source of my discomfort comes from the feeling that somewhere, there is a “normal” state of being.